I Have Aspergers

This is a thing that has followed me my whole life. I have an official diagnosis I got at an early age. To most people, aspergers syndrome is one of two things:

1. Just another form of autism
2. Having hamburgers up you know where

The first is common misconception, while the other is just childish humour  I thought it would be a great idea to go through the symptoms of aspergers, to see what I actually have.

"Not pick up on social cues and may lack inborn social skills, such as being able to read others' body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking."

This hardly is a problem for me. I am perfectly able to see someone is angry at me, especially when they are running at me with a knife yelling "Put the milk back in the fridge you dumb bastard!".

"Dislike any changes in routines."

If you are late I'll cut you a slice of this pie since you look hungry after you ran here. Also I'll stab you.

"Appear to lack empathy."

It was a mercy burning, the house was really old, and was asking for it. 

"Be unable to recognize subtle differences in speech tone, pitch, and accent that alter the meaning of others? speech. So your child may not understand a joke or may take a sarcastic comment literally. And his or her speech may be flat and hard to understand because it lacks tone, pitch, and accent."

 I love sarcasm, and you look lovely.

"Have a formal style of speaking that is advanced for his or her age. For example, the child may use the word "beckon" instead of "call" or the word "return" instead of "come back."

 I find this frivolous claim to be quite derogatory. Just because I haven't the need for a Thesaurus doesn't make me a wondrous encyclopaedia of terminology. Sure people may ask what the hell I'm saying, but I put this down to their personal ineptitude. If you haven't caught on, I utilize sarcasm constantly, which an "aspie" (a term I despise) doesn't usually understand. 

"Be preoccupied with only one or few interests, which he or she may be very knowledgeable about. Many children with Asperger's syndrome are overly interested in parts of a whole or in unusual activities, such as designing houses, drawing highly detailed scenes, or studying astronomy. They may show an unusual interest in certain topics such as snakes, names of stars, or dinosaurs."

I like movies, video games, and the internet. That is everything 90% of the planet cares about. I also like bikes, coffee, music, food, my hair (so curly), friends, rock climbing, conversations, photography, chess, filmmaking, boats, hot tubs, Beethoven, Mozart, paintballing, blogging, and tons of other things. But I guess movies are my main focus.

These are very basic aspects of aspergers, which I feel I have dominated. The big one is the social anxiety that many afflicted feel. Many times I do feel nervous in social situations, who doesn't? It is true I have few peers as "friends". I feel this is simply due to the fact that my peers are high school students. If I had my way, I would abandon my local school, to go to a university. The way they openly reject the importance of their work, and their emphasis on incredibly silly things distresses me. 

Oh look, an idiot label

All in all aspergers is a thing that I have, and I don't really suffer many of the negative aspects. I am a human with high intelligence and a bright future, anyone who says otherwise is fired.