Saturday, 24 November 2012

Tech Toys

 Like most internet users, I find myself reading countless useless articles. A recurring theme that I have encountered is the "Tech Toy" style of list. If you don't know what I am referring to here is one. For an item to qualify for one of these lists they must have at least one of these qualities:
  1. Have no practical use
  2. Be vastly expensive
  3. Look stupid
  4. A novelty used by no sane person
$20 can snag you a piece of cardboard that cost about $0.15 to produce. What a deal. 
I find that these "geeky products" are little more than stupid marketing scams devised by swindlers because capitalism is fun. There is a joy in selling something you created over the weekend to some poor woman who just needs to get their stupid kid to shut up. The geniuses behind these products spend their whole lives making up the silliest products imaginable, and actually making decent profit.

For example, on This is Why im Broke I can buy a wall socket that has usb for $30. What a relief! I thought I was going to use the charger that was bundled with my phone for free. Even in a world deprived of regular cell phone chargers it isn't like there is a major deprivation in usb ports, even if your computer is out of ports you can get an expansion card for way less at staples or something.

Thank god, the eight usb ports on my computer were all occupied by electric sentry turrets

I also noticed that these things mostly come around Christmas. It makes sense for stupid knick knacks to appear at such a time, since the holiday tradition is to go in debt by purchasing useless junk for your friends and family.

Whatever the season, stupid items follow It is everyone's duty to complain, so that our world can be a more annoyingly loud place. What bothers me the most is the shrewd fact that these are considered "geeky". Since when was it geeky to purchase useless novelties? I would consider it geeky to spend that much on computer components to assemble into a roaring beast of screaming virginity.

Do you think this is a mother fucking game?

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